The last two weeks of my life have been very difficult. Dragon Egg (DE) had his first tooth emerge, he had five vaccinations four days ago, he’s starting to eat more pureed foods, and my in-laws are in town. If that wasn’t enough, DE has been spending a good portion of each night awake crying. Hours of crying…
I hate it when he cries. I hate it when ANY kid cries.
I breaks my heart.
So we’ve been trying everything to calm him from pain meds to extra nighttime feedings. Last night, after a three hour cycle of intermittent crying with no helpful solution, I was tempted to pack him up and take him to the emergency room. Thankfully, I called my extra smart husband first (who was already on his way to work) and he helped my fuzzy brain remember that there was little to do for my fussy seven month old. DE had no fever, diarrhea, ear pain, distended abdomen, severe constipation, etc. Basically nothing an ED could treat. He was simply fussy and miserable. And consequently, I was fussy and miserable.
So now I wonder, how many more moms were up last night with their little ones? How many sleepless nights accompany motherhood? Will I ever sleep through an entire night again?
I’m learning that as soon as I figure out what DE needs, he changes. I’m also learning that I can’t blame myself for not predicting his ever changing needs. I used to think that if he cried, it was a failing on my part to provide for him.
Now I’ve learned that it is impossible to keep a baby happy at all times. So cry he must.
The only thing that makes this time bearable is when he reaches for me from his crib, holds on to my neck, and finds comfort in my arms.
So this is what I have to say to my dear baby boy.
Though I’m sleep deprived and moody. Though I desperately want you to sleep through the night, know that mommy is with you. We’ll get through this together.
You cry and I’ll answer.
If we need to see the sun rise together, we’ll do it.
For I know somewhere deep down in my soul that this is a phase, a season in our life. And before long you’ll be happy, sleeping through the night, and running away from the comfort of my arms.