I put my budding career on hold when we decided to have a baby. Before we tried to get pregnant, Matthew and I had many conversations on how we wanted to raise our children. One of our conclusions was that the best way for us would be for me to take significantly less shifts per month and be primarily a stay-at-home mom.
It was very hard for me to chose to be home as opposed to continuing to work as a physician assistant. I spent a decade in college to attain my PA license. Not only was this career a major investment, but I also love what I do. The reality of what I had chosen to do became apparent once Dragon Egg (DE) made an appearance. How I missed my place of employment during those first weeks. DE would cry and I’d have no idea what to do. I kept thinking to myself, “may be I don’t have mom instincts”, “what happens if he never stops crying?”, “do babies always cry this much?”. If work would have asked me back that first month, I would have showed up with bells on.
Fast forward four months. I have gone back to work to my agreed upon four shifts a month. Most of my time now is spent at home showing DE himself in the mirror, playing “kick, kick, kick”, and singing to him. I get to enjoy his smiles, comfort him when he’s upset, and watch him develop before my eyes.
My dog also seems to be adjusting to me being home. When I breast feed in the mornings, she comes and sleeps on my feet. If the baby starts crying, she paces until I go see what’s wrong. If we’re reading or changing a diaper, she’s right there in the middle of everything. I’ve even caught her playing with some of DE’s toys, especially the ones that squeak.
So here I am. My career on the back burner, fully encompassing “Mom” and I’m starting to truly enjoy it. I can see the happiness it brings to my home. From DE to the dog to my husband. I never dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom, but I’m beginning to get the hang of this mommy stuff.